Getting your shit together for the big stuff is just getting your shit together for a bunch of small stuff, over time.
Set realistic goals based on what annoys you about your life, not based on someone else’s measurements, and begin the process of sweeping it out the damn door. But for the people who don’t have their shit together, there never seems to be enough time.
Now, some people might correlate accountability with “shame” or “caring what other people think”, but I contend that there are a few (if not fifty) shades of grey in between. I don’t give a fuck about what other people think of my life choices – in the sense that it does not bother me if someone disapproves of my actions, as long as I know I’m acting in my own best interests.
Your job is to get your shit together, not worry about everyone else’s.
It is about getting out of your own way so the world can move forward around you and you can stop wasting your time and energy on futile pursuits, like hemming pants or, say, fixing your own washing machine. Are you washing machine repairman by trade? No? Then what are you doing back there? Oh, wasting a bunch of time and energy. Right.
Change starts with cleaning out your mind.
The goal here is getting through life with minimal hassle and maximal gain. You know you’ve truly got your shit together when you have time to relax and enjoy turkey sandwich – not when you’re filling every moment of every day with unnecessary aggravation.
Get your shit together. Divide and conquer. It worked for Caesar. Winning life is supposed to make you feel freer and looser, like so many pairs of linen pants. It’s not a competition – with yourself or anyone else – to be the most booked up, burdened, and burnt out.
Because big life changes are made in small, manageable chunks.
Therefore, the best, most potentially winning path toward achieving your creative goals lies between finding time and granting yourself permission to use it.
So yeah, giving fewer, better fucks is an exercise in selfishness – focusing on what you want to do rather than what you need to do (or what other people think you should do). But there’s nothing wrong with that! And this mind-set serves you especially well in getting your shit together to pursue hobbies, creative work, or any other activity that doesn’t necessarily “result” in anything other than you being happy.
Being selfish – in pursuit of your health and well-being – can be a good thing for you and everyone in your life. If you’re happy and fulfilled, that automatically makes you a better person to be around. A more relaxed person. A kinder partner. A more patient boss and a more energetic employee. You can’t give of yourself to others if there’s nothing left of yourself to give, can you?
You are only as good as the last step you took.
Eventually the fear of failure becomes just as powerful and punishing as the failure itself, and it can be crippling. By being afraid of a potential bad outcome, you cause yourself even more agony surrounding the whole endeavour – whether it’s passing a test, getting promotion, or correctly assembling any piece of IKEA furniture on the first try.
Not having your shit together is self-sabotage, pure and simple. A lot of people allow fear to put them on the defensive. As a result, they lose sight of their goal and the path it takes to get there. Strategy flies out the window. The focus switches to “everyone else” instead of “me.” And the only commitment they can muster is in making excuses for their behavior instead of changing it.
Kids, don’t get hooked on perfection. It’s no way to live. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
But in most cases? The world is not out to get you. You are out to get you. In other words: In order to get your shit together, you need to stop giving a fuck about failure.